How different would your Valentine's Day be if you put your HEART first this Valentine's?

I promise it will be a win-win for your loved ones. Because by following your heart and what it wants raises your vibes and ripples out in to the world around you.

Think of it like this, would you like to have a grumpy or distracted person in your life buy and give you a gift out of obligation or worse, out of fear of losing you?

Or what if someone who was happy and content in life gave you a smile and a compliment or better yet, an authentic expression of their love and gratitude for being in their life? Gift or no gift. In actions or words.

I invite you to join me this Saturday for some medicine for your heart. I'll be presenting during a free, online Heart-Centered Wellness Marathon hosted by Aware Meditation, a non-profit Mediation organization based in California. No meditation experience require. All are welcome.

www.awaremeditation.com/Heart-Centered-Livestream

If you can't make it live, no problem, it will live on YouTube to watch at your convenience.
www.youtube.com/c/Awaremeditation

*From forest walks to calls with loved ones, from a special chocolate treats to some quiet time in nature, whatever you do for yourself this Valentine's Day let your heart inspire a gift of self love*

A friend is not just defined by the gifts they give, or even the laughter and the fun times they share. A true friend gets imprinted in to us by being beside us when we go through hard times. Why can’t we try to also do that for OURSELVES?
 
“Sometimes the most noble thing is to have a bad day and to be willing to be with yourself through it.” Matt Kahn
 
Our society puts high value on happiness and satisfaction. Having those things and similar attributes in our lives is surface comfort. To truly connect and love ourselves deeply and fully, we need to allow ourselves to be in the uncomfortable states of being like guilt, sadness, shame and anger. Treating OURSELVES with compassion to allow our WHOLE SELVES to be accepted, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Those parts of us do exist and if suppressed through distraction and denial, will fester causing us to deeper discomfort when they finally erupt. And we all know how that turns out.
 
So please take time to allow YOURSELF to be your best friend. Stand up for YOURSELF against society’s myth of perfection that “you should be happy and grateful”. That only brings in more shame when YOU may not be feeling those things (Side note: shame is the lowest emotion on an emotional scale, and our society has created a shaming culture which I hope changes soon). Except YOURSELF completely as you would your infant or child. Bring unconditional love to yourself by accepting every joy and every pain, every sadness and every madness, every discomfort and every blissful contentment. Give YOURSELF some “undivided attention” every day, even if only for 10minutes.
 
How?
 
Just for 10minutes: Turn off the screens. Turn off your phone. Sit with yourself and listen. Comfort yourself. Meditate. Go for a walk with yourself. Know deep down that you are loved by YOURSELF. So forgive yourself for forgetting about YOU! Make up with YOUR OLDEST FRIEND by being extra kind and extra attentive. Then promise to keep an open dialogue and check-in daily to help be there “through thick and thin, through better or worse…”. And you will THRIVE.

"If you find you can't make it to 70 (years old) by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go." Mark Twain

"Yuck, I don't want to touch those old dirty dishes"
"Ewwuu, that garbage stinks, I'm not taking it out"
"I don't want to join that new group. I won't know anyone"

There are many daily things we don't want to do and mostly because they take us out of our comfort zone. Getting out of bed in the morning is even uncomfortable for most of us; we're groggy, tired, and it's so warm in bed and cold on the other side of the covers.

Here are the lies and the truths about comfort in life. The main lie: a part of you thinks that you have control of the comfort in your life. The truth: you can not avoid discomfort for long. You will encounter it regardless, usually by force with heightened stress. You will also experience emotions of shame, guilt and sadness for NOT doing things to avoid discomfort. Not doing more is the largest regret of most people at the end of their life.

And here's the secret; the key. If you CHOOSE to experience discomfort and dive in to it, you will not only eliminate feelings of shame or guilt replacing them with feelings of accomplishment and contentment, you will actually choose to change your outlook on life from SURVIVING to THRIVING.

A seed on a tree does not think, "I don't want to fall from the comfort of my home. I don't want to live in the cold ground and wait and wait in the dark unknown." The seed just surrenders in to it's circle of life, leaving it's comfort, and ALLOWING life to flow from it. The seed will eventually change in to a tree/flower or food for other life. Either way, it's does not feel negative feelings in the discomfort parts of it's life. It gives up control and surrenders to LIFE. Simple life. Excepting both the discomfort and the comfort without analyzing them.

Life is uncomfortable and messy and full of change. It is also full of millions of tiny seeds of beauty just waiting for you to see them. Embrace and surrender in to life with it's comforts and discomforts instead of fighting and resenting. This will be the key to embodying your life's purpose, connecting to your heart and to your personal growth. 

You ultimately choose to THRIVE or not by choosing to SURRENDER or not.

by Carolyn Green

As I eat the last of three chocolate cookies in a row (oops), I remember that life needs moderation. Trying not to be hard on myself, I focus on the truth of this. We can always justify our actions but we need to remember the truth, Life needs balance and moderation be so.

Haven't exercised in a while? Then maybe it's time to hit the gym. I know I just watched two Game of Thrones episodes but I want to watch another. Yeah, we've all had the same loops of conversation go in our heads. But let's take this deeper. What if I told you that there was a part of you that was sabotaging your happiness by convincing you that "you can do that later", or "when you get to it". The problem is that part of you is not in your highest interest.  It is the shadow side to your light side; the yang to your yin; the death to your life. It will always be there so there is no sense fighting it, however, letting it run your life and convince you that now is not the time (it's trump-card of reasoning, by the way) would be very unwise. NOW is always the time. It's the only time we actually have in front of us!

Always act on the inspiration of your heart, on the whispers of your soul. Following these inspirations will bring balance in your life. Listening to others' logical advice, your own self criticisms, or allowing fear, or lack of time, money  knowledge, will restrain you in achieving optimum balance. At optimum balance, we are harmonious in surrendering when we need to and acting when we must.

Back to your shadow. Once you do start bringing happiness and joy in to you life on a daily basis, your shadow will need to be balanced as well. So make sure that on great and amazing days you do something that allows your shadow to feel heard like groaning about taking out the garbage or cleaning a toilet.  When you've been avoiding things because they are too boring, yucky or hard, do them and your will start to feel more accomplished and release you from the guilt or shame spiral. And the opposite is true. When you've spent all day in the trenches doing things you've be avoiding or "had to do", then reward yourself with something you want, like a chocolate bar or watching your favourite show on TV.

Life is about balance. And we all have our own scales. As they are always continuously tilting up or down, know that they will never be still for long so act instead of avoid. Only you can bring balance in to your life.

As this is my first completed (and challenging) blog that I was inspired to create a while ago, I'm headed for another chocolate cookie.