A friend is not just defined by the gifts they give, or even the laughter and the fun times they share. A true friend gets imprinted in to us by being beside us when we go through hard times. Why can’t we try to also do that for OURSELVES?
“Sometimes the most noble thing is to have a bad day and to be willing to be with yourself through it.” Matt Kahn
Our society puts high value on happiness and satisfaction. Having those things and similar attributes in our lives is surface comfort. To truly connect and love ourselves deeply and fully, we need to allow ourselves to be in the uncomfortable states of being like guilt, sadness, shame and anger. Treating OURSELVES with compassion to allow our WHOLE SELVES to be accepted, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Those parts of us do exist and if suppressed through distraction and denial, will fester causing us to deeper discomfort when they finally erupt. And we all know how that turns out.
So please take time to allow YOURSELF to be your best friend. Stand up for YOURSELF against society’s myth of perfection that “you should be happy and grateful”. That only brings in more shame when YOU may not be feeling those things (Side note: shame is the lowest emotion on an emotional scale, and our society has created a shaming culture which I hope changes soon). Except YOURSELF completely as you would your infant or child. Bring unconditional love to yourself by accepting every joy and every pain, every sadness and every madness, every discomfort and every blissful contentment. Give YOURSELF some “undivided attention” every day, even if only for 10minutes.
Just for 10minutes: Turn off the screens. Turn off your phone. Sit with yourself and listen. Comfort yourself. Meditate. Go for a walk with yourself. Know deep down that you are loved by YOURSELF. So forgive yourself for forgetting about YOU! Make up with YOUR OLDEST FRIEND by being extra kind and extra attentive. Then promise to keep an open dialogue and check-in daily to help be there “through thick and thin, through better or worse…”. And you will THRIVE.